Dude, even by my standards, thats fucking weird.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

a few years back, I was at a friends place on a Sunday afternoon. We were chilling and drinking and listening to the radio. The radio announces some prize for the best embarrassing story about your ex, and one of the girls dives for the phone and starts frantically dialing, while giggling her ass off.

Now this chick had like 3 ex's in her life, she didn't do hookups she only did relationships and all of her relationships had lasted a while, so we'd met all these guys and none of us knew any good stories about this guy - we're looking around puzzled trying to figure out what the fuck, she goes outside for some quiet and we're listening to the radio when she comes on telling her story.

Apparently her ex who she named on the most popular radio station in town had a slightly unusual habbit. Right as he was about to reach the point of no return when they were fucking, he'd whip it out and slap it against the wall and slam it back in. They always had to fuck near a wall so he could do it - blowjobs were the same deal, if there wasn't a wall nearby - he couldn't get it up. If they got it on in the great outdoors - he had to slap it against a tree. Apparently he quite regularly shot his wad over the whatever he slapped it on as a result.

I'd had beers with this guy. I'd heard drunken stories about his family and his childhood and all sorts of shit, I never heard anything even vaguely unusual, completely normal, to the point of being boring from everything I'd heard/seen. Where the fuck does that sort of fetish come from?

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